Alanis Morissetteis continuing to be candid about her battle with postpartum depression.
In anessay posted to her websiteon Sunday, the musician — who welcomed her third child, sonWinter Mercy, with husbandMario “Souleye” Treadwayon Aug. 8 — opened up about how she’s dealing with the condition for the third time, having learned a few tricks from the experiences after her previous pregnancies with her daughter,Onyx Solace,3, and sonEver Imre, 8½.
“I wasn’t sure if i would have post partum depression/anxiety this time around. or, as i like to call it: post partum activity. or, also: post partum tar-drenched trenches. there are so many tentacles to this experience,” began Morissette, 45, going on to list offsome of the things she’s currently struggling with: “Hormonal. sleep deprivation. fogginess. physical pain. isolation. anxiety. cortisol.”
TheJagged Little Pillartist shares that while she has been “great” at “setting boundaries in some areas,” there are other spheres she has been “blind-spot-ty” with, “reaching this point again where the sleeping giants of my survival strategies are being roused.”
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As of late, the star says she has felt herself “over-giving. over-serving. over-do-ing. over-over-ing. All lovely qualities without the ‘over.'”
She explains, “At worst: beautiful human qualities that are on 11 in a way that the body ultimately can’t sustain. The #invisibleloadwith today’s normalized cluttered lifestyletaking on epic proportions.”
Jana Cruder
That being said, the musician recognizes that she has “been here before” and knows “there is another side. and the other side is greater than my PPD-riddled-temporarily-adjusted-brain could have ever imagined: as a mom. as an artist. as a wife. as a friend. as a collaborator. as a leader. as a boss. as an activist.”
“I saw how things got richer after i came through it the last two times. i have my eye on that prize again … even as i drag my a— through the molasses. thereis so much more support this time,” Morissette writes. “I knew better so i set it up to win as much as i could beforehand. support. food. friends. sun. bio-identical hormones and SSRI’s at the ready. some parts of the care-prep has been a godsend, and well-planned.”
“But for all of this preparation — PPD is still a sneaky monkey with a machete — working its way through my psyche and body and days and thoughts and bloodwork levels,” she admits, adding that despite the difficulties, “I have stopped, this time, in the middle of it. lord knows i don’t want to miss a thing … with my kids.”
“I see it changing, which is so heartening … but the general way is bereft of the honoring and tenderness and attunementand village-ness that post partum deeply warrants,” the “Ironic” singer says. “The new mom, the new parent(s) is creating the foundation for the circumventing of so much of the pain and divisiveness that we see in the world.”
She continues, “wouldn’t it be cool ifwe treated all post partum moms and familieswith this awareness and honor. even if the treadmill of the quickening of our culture didn’t change pace.”
“That there might be a life raft of empathy toward the feminine life-givers who bear it all and give more than words can even begin to touch on,” Morissette says, concluding, “More soon. i won’t remember typing this. and i am finally realizing that that is entirely ok. so much more to write, soon. i love you. i am here. with you. we’re not alone.”
source: people.com
