Photo:Irvin Rivera/Getty
Irvin Rivera/Getty
Alyson Stonerbelievescoming out as queerimpacted their career.
The 29-year-old former Disney Channel star, who uses they/them pronouns, revealed in a 2018Teen Vogueessay that theyfell in love with a womanand continued to be “attracted to men, women and people who identify in other ways.”
But reaching that point “was really nerve-racking,” they admitted.
“The reason I ended up doing it was because my girlfriend at the time, we reached a point in our relationship where it felt like it was a disservice to her for her to be hidden, right?” Stoner told Spencewuah on theirI’m Literally Screamingpodcast earlier this month. “Like, that, that didn’t feel good for her, it didn’t feel fair. And even though there were other like pressures and considerations for me to be public, I felt like,OK, I wanna … I wanna do this.”
From there, Stoner said they consulted with their managers, one of whom was theJonas Brothers’ dadKevin Jonas Sr.(Stoner appeared in theCamp Rockalongside the star siblings.)
“He’s a former pastor and so I was like, ‘OK, I know that there’s a potential risk here,’ and he was very loving and supportive and helpful in me understanding that like, there are risks if I do this,” the actress continued. “It’s totally my choice, but it could affect not only people’s perceptions, but also like, hireability for jobs.”
Stoner has now claimed that they did, in fact, lose a job after publicly opening up about their sexuality, saying, “I did end up getting fired from a children’s show because they felt that I was unsafe, now that they knew I was queer, to be around kids. So there was like, definitely discrimination.”
Despite the alleged “discrimination,” Stoner felt like they made the right choice.
Before coming out, Stoner underwent an"outpatient variation" of conversion therapy, hoping at the time to repress their queer side in conformity with long-held religious beliefs.“I felt like everything was wrong with me, even though I, in my heart of hearts, only desired to be a devoted follower of God,” they toldInsiderin 2021. “So to hear from people you trust, from people you respect, from people you might even aspire to become, that you at your core are ‘rotten,’ ‘abominable,’ that the devil has a target on your back because of your position in Hollywood…. It just sends you into a spiral, at least for me, because I just wanted to do the right thing.”
Stoner said they were “considering whether my life was worth living” but ultimately realized they had been “trying to change something that is what I now understand is very natural.”
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“Queer folks (and non-queer, too!) frequently suppress a part or all of who we are,” they wrote June 6 onInstagram. “It can cause us to hide from the world and, in turn, to hide from ourselves. We may silence the wisdom of our bodies and neglect our basic needs. Learning how to listen and rebuild trust with our bodies is essential to healing, building resilience, and speaking our truth authentically.”
source: people.com
