pay heed on to your witch tits , the midseason finis ( which is wholly a thing now ) of American Horror Story was insane . So mad . Really really insane . Coven could be the campiest / bloodiest AHS series yet , and it ’s so in effect . Spoilers ahead .
First up , apologies this did n’t go up last nighttime . Sometimes citizenry fall deceased mainlining Hulu ’s Bar Rescue and wake up in a pool of their own spit at 4 AM assuming they finished their oeuvre . apology . But this was such a wildly bloody episode I could n’t brush aside it . So countenance ’s speak about it now , fine ?
First item of American Horror Story line of work :
NEW HATS ! NEW HATS ! NEW HATS ! unexampled HATS ! NEW HATS ! NEW HATS ! young HATS ! NEW HATS ! NEW HATS ! Modern HATS ! NEW HATS ! NEW HATS!NEW HATS ! raw HATS ! young HATS ! newfangled HATS ! novel HATS ! novel HATS !
The topper affair about this Coven series is the seemingly interminable supply of fabulous black hats . The “ newfangled hat conniption ” was place at the bedside hospital of Patti Lupone ’s Logos ( the son with the cleanest asshole in all the land ) . Nan is listening to the whispers from her comatose boyfriend who then let out that his crazy - backside female parent Lupone obliterate their sire . Because after Aslan break the stone table in Narnia , the laws were everlastingly shifted and it became a teaching that American Horror Story must and shall always have 8,000 patch lines juggling around in the atmosphere .
https://gizmodo.com/this-is-the-worst-thing-that-has-ever-happened-on-ameri-1477470678
No real surprise here — Lupone did n’t like her execution secrets being spilled so she killed her own Word . Let ’s hope this makes Nan go all firestarter and sunburn down the bitch ’s house .
But the crazy did n’t stop there . Next up , Myrtle seeks revenge .
Most of this time of year has been centered around “ protect this coven . ” I really think there was an entire episode where Jessica Lange just fume a butt in a mythical hat and aver “ protect this coven ” over and over and over again . It was great .
And apparently the full possibly way to protect this coven is by murder most of the bitches in it . This week it was Myrtle ’s twist . Justifiably pissed off that she was falsely burned at the wager , Myrtle murders the rest of the coven , death by melon ball scooper ! First the malevolent gingerroot poisons their melon balls , causing the two remaining members of the ( I dunno , Witch Club ? ) to suffer from actors - hazard - to - be - paralyzed - itus . There is absolutely nothing more delightful than watching experient , well - paid Hollywood actors play the “ FREEZE ” game on camera . Ridiculous delights .
Myrtle then goes full crazy and melon balls their oculus out , chops them into bits and donate the two random heart to Cordelia , thus negating the whole “ Cordelia is unreasoning ” plotline . Which is kind of unfortunate . But in business deal we got batshit Myrtle on the sluttish and I love that . jazz it . She ’s a complete wildcard now , and this should make for some interesting television .
The third plot revolved around the fancy raw witch hunter ’s club that we just found out about in good order now . You see Cordelia ’s married man is n’t just any crazy witch hunter with a accelerator pedal , he ’s part of a special lodge of witch hunters . recall Wolfram & Hart , only with two exclusive right , killing crone and sharing in a lot of father - Logos hugs .
Cordelia ’s husband ( Hank ) is the son to the leader of the this Delphi Trust group . And like all right telly Logos of important figures , he really suck at living up to his legacy . You see , Hank is a shitty hunting watch and the boy are always clean up his error . His only job was to marry Cordelia and pile up intelligence on the girls so the group could later pop them . Seems like a lot of work , but hey , I ’m not a professional Wiccan killer .
Obviously his idiotic plan to team up up with Voodoo Queen Marie Laveau was not okay by his founder . But he wield to fix all of his error by testify up to her shop class and drink down ALL OF HER FRIENDS . It was actually a pretty clever move for the show . It connect up the Hank secret plan , unified Marie and Fiona , and dedicate the series a curious with child bad to fear .
Sadly this means that Queenie had to go ( perhaps ) . She took her living ( sprout herself in the nous thus shooting Hank in the caput ) to protect Marie . Which mean no more Queenie and Kathy Bates ’ severed head antics , which was really the undecomposed part of this entire episode . Or maybe Queenie is still alive ! Who knows , I entail they can just get her back with clay if they ask to anyway .
The “ sensitivity training ” was so entirely beyond anything I ca n’t even write about it . So I will just pass on you with the clip at the top . What is to become of Kathy Bate ’s head now that her caretaker is gone ? Maybe she ’ll roll in the last moment and economize the day , hired gun in tooth . Who experience ? Either way , pricey lord .
See you next month !
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