This hebdomad : a relationship ruined by text messages . An out of shape gamer looking for an prosperous elbow room out . A broke - ass gent with an oculus on Craigslist . Three sad individual , three desperations — three reader in need .
pricy Giz-
So I ’ve been seeing this cat for a few weeks now , and we get along really well and everything . Except he take a firm stand on texting me instead of call . Even when he ’s just at home doing nothing , he still wo n’t give me a call . Worst part ? When I call him , he render my claim with text . That ’s just ill-bred , correct ? ? What gives ?
-H8 SMS
Dear H8 —
Uhm , let ’s just cut right to it and get the screechy white elephant out of the room : What ’s your voice sound like ? Yeah , this might not be what you wanted to take heed — but before we move on , we have to confront the possibility that you might not be what he wants to hear either . Occam ’s razor , dig ?
No , do n’t cry — you probably sound just ok . It ’s probably the telephone ’s break . Remember that , while a human pinna can capture sound between 30 and 20,000 Hz — from a deep rumble to a high - pitch squeal — a telephone squash all audio recording into the range of 300 to 3,400 Hz . distinctly the siren song of your dulcet treble is being bump to the harpy range by your handset . Your lover in all probability ca n’t stand to sample your electronified vox after developing a taste for its analog beauty .
But thankfully , these novel - earth problem can be do by with the two oldest tricks in the kinship book : compromise and extortion . Just send him this text : “ no s3x til u talk 2 me . ”
Yo Giz-
So I ’ve kind of lease myself go over the past few years . And whenever I tell myself that I ’m gon na whip myself into bod , the gym rank ends up being money down the toilet . So I ’m think maybe I involve to sour exercise into my day-by-day routine . And since I basically pose on the couch and play videogames all day , I was consider about getting a Playstation Move or Wii Fit to work on out . Will either of those make a difference ?
-Sbarro the Hedgehog
beloved Sbarro —
Get off your ass and into a gym . Or on a pavement . Or twine down a hill aerobically . Sucker punch someone at a bar and then run aside as he and his friends give chase you . Anything . Your problem is the couch , not the videogames , and dumping money into console peripheral gadget is n’t going to get you out of the living room . Galen Clavio , of Indiana University ’s Kinesiology Departmentsays that , although a PlayStation Move or Wii Fit might help with helping hand / eye coordination , they are “ nothing that would replace the gymnasium . ” Even if you combined veridical exercise with hopping around in your living room , Galen say , wryly , that the salutary you’re able to probably hope for is to “ help with infer the sports that you ’re act . ” But you ’re not really playing sports , see ? Here , let ’s put this in terms you ’ll understand :
You eff how it ’s , like , whole awe-inspiring to just range around a nigh sear earth wait for coolheaded stuff ? There ’s an even bigger , soon - to - be - scorched Earth that you may explore without even hold off for the PS3 to update its software again . Here ’s a walking - through of level 1 :
Dear Gizmodo-
Whenever I ’m on Craigslist , I see these work from home ads , and sometimes it ’s like 1000 buck a week . Are any of these thing legit ? I could really habituate the cash , and if there ’s any room to make some superfluous alteration with the time I ’m already spending online , it would really save my ass .
-Broke With Broadband
Dear Broke —
So , it ’s money you want ? Well ! Do we have an fling for you ! I ca n’t say you on the dot what it is , or how much it devote , but allow us assure you that it ’ll make you C@SH M0N3Y every day , and you’re able to WORK FROM HOME ! Just institutionalise your social security measure number , zipcode , blood type , and an gasbag of whatever hard currency you have lying around to[email protected ] .
Just jolly !
When it comes to those “ ferment from family ” Craigslist offers , yes , they are just as scammy as they wait . And so are all the rest of them , says Ethan Arenson of the FTC ’s Division of Marketing Practices — the gov ’s go - to man for keeping digital con military personnel aside from soft touch like , well , you . The entire work from nursing home industry ( if you could call a bunch of creepy guys ripping people off an industriousness ) is “ saturated with fraud , ” enjoin Arenson . You find out that ? concentrated . Like , dripping with fraud sauce .
But , if you deal to come across something that does n’t expect blatantly criminal , Arenson say to make certain you have your homework done : “ do your due diligence , and tattle to other multitude , ” he urge , but laments that “ these folks compensate professional reference point , [ so ] you ca n’t trust who you ’re blab out to . ” Well , smashing . Let ’s just stick with the stay the hell away from Craigslist cozenage approach , then .
If you have a inquiry that only Gizmodo can answer , well , that soak up . But at least you may e-mail us:[email protected ] . We ’ll address three question every Wednesday .
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