Nearly three weeks afterMichael K. Williams, best known for his roles onThe Wire,Lovecraft CountryandWhen They See Us, unexpectedly died at age 54, his cause of death was revealed as anaccidental overdose.
“It is with deep sorrow that the family announces the passing of Emmy nominated actor Michael Kenneth Williams,” Williams' rep told PEOPLE earlier this month. “They ask for your privacy while grieving this unsurmountable loss.”
Williams had long been candid about his struggles with addiction and mental health. Below, a roundup of what he’s said about both topics.
How His Addiction Struggles Started
In a 2020 interview withMen’s Health, Williams said being in “a lot of pain” was what pushed him to start using drugs. “A lot of trauma early on that I didn’t have the proper tools to deal with. My mom was very strict. The beatings were very severe growing up. She was determined to not have her two sons runamok,” he said.
“She had a brother who passed. He was a fighter and went to jail for murdering someone with his bare hands. It was a way of protecting me,” he continued. “It wasn’t an easy childhood, being sensitive, vulnerable. I’m not alpha, in any sense the word of the title. And so I got picked on a lot. It plagued me, especially [during] my teenage years. It was one of the things that led me to attempt suicide. I was 17. I was lost. I was very awkward with the ladies. Drugs were there. And I was already self-medicating. And I just got lost.”
Battling Addiction onThe Wire
“I didn’t feel worthy of opportunity like [the role onThe Wire], and when I was given this character, Omar, I could’ve used it as a tool, as a nurturing tool for myself. It could’ve been cathartic for me,” he toldWAMUin 2016. “[But] I decided to wear it as a Spider-Man suit and just fly around and go, ‘Whee! Look at me! I got web in my hands!’ Instead of actually doing the work and finding out how I could use this character to make myself feel better about me, I used it instead of me. It was like my crutch.”
Arturo Holmes/Getty Images
Williams continued, “So [when]The Wireand the character of Omar ended, I had zero tools, personally speaking, in how to deal with letting that go. I wasn’t going around robbing people or anything stupid like that, but I definitely wore that dark energy that Omar was — he was a dark soul, a tortured soul — and I just … lived in that and that’s what people was attracted to. … The lines got blurred.”
On Choosing to Get Sober
Speaking toNJ.comabout how bad his addiction battle got, Williams said: “I was playing with fire.”
“It was just a matter of time before I got caught and my business ended up on the cover of a tabloid or I went to jail or, worse, I ended up dead. When I look back on it now, I don’t know how I didn’t end up in a body bag,” he continued. “Eventually, I got so sick and tired of this charade. No one who was in my circle, who knew me as Mike, was allowing me to get high. I had to slip away to do drugs. I had to hide it.”
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“I’d be gone for days at a time. I was lonely in that part of my life. I was broke, broken and beat up. Exhausted. Empty. I finally said, ‘I can’t do this no more.’ I didn’t want to end up dead,” he added.
Learning How to Cope
“I have strategies that I go to. Number one, I keep a very good, solid team of people around me when I’m doing these dark roles. I call them my lasso. Tie a little lasso around my ankle and they’re keeping me up,” he toldDeadlinein 2017. “Now I practice new strategies for how to arrive at characters. I’m keeping good, healthy-minded people around, and just protecting myself. Being responsible.”
Seeking Therapy After a Project
Shortly after filming HBO’sLovecraft Country, the late actor sought therapy. “I just started therapy, you know, and really taking that seriously and starting to unpack, like you said, the critic in my head and how that has affected my actions, my responses to certain situations, my relationships,” he said onThe Tamron Hall Showin February. “It was a very new process for me.”
Michael K. Williams inLovecraft Country.Eli Joshua Ade/HBO
Addressing His Triggers
Speaking about his filmBody BrokersonThe Tamron Hall Showin February, he said working on the flick — which is about a fraudulent Los Angeles treatment center — “quite frankly, made me sick to my stomach.”
“I was ignorant to the narrative and the subject of what this movie was addressing,” he said. “And I remember personally, you know, one of those many nights when I was crying myself to sleep listening to BeBe & CeCe Winans, I would see these commercials about these elaborate, beautiful recovery centers. You know, most of them was in Malibu and I would say, ‘Man, if I could get there, maybe I could get my life together.’ And to think that that was never really the intent for them ever. … I’m quite sure there are people there that care, it’s just, you know, the capitalism aspect that goes into the [places].”
He added: “I don’t think it was ever any good. I think that was always there.”
If you or someone you know is struggling with addiction, please contact the SAMHSA substance abuse helpline at 1-800-662-HELP.
If you or someone you know needs mental health help, text “STRENGTH” to the Crisis Text Line at 741-741 to be connected to a certified crisis counselor.
source: people.com
