Hello Tiger
An elderly woman brought her PowerMac G3 to Ringo , because it would n’t turn on . sure as shooting enough , after plugging it in , no response . As Ringo moved to get to the case to check the logical system display board , he noticed the fans were a small … fuzzy . “ Did you have any pets ? ” The woman replied that her cat , Tiger , had just passed away , but used to hang around the figurer a quite a little . What happen next , in Ringo ’s words :
I open up the computer and straight off see the entire inside of the computer fill up with orange hairballs the size of my clenched fist . Upon seeing this the client exclaims obstreperously and happily , “ Oh Tiger , you leave part of yourself in there before you pall ! ” I immediately say , “ let off me , ” and pass to the back of house and sit stunned in the AppleCare room , begging someone else to take over the case for me .
Ringo ’s director explained to the woman she ’d need to get the figurer clean before having it repaired , because it was n’t sanitary . She pulled a worn handkerchief out of her bag , brushing the dead cat fur out of the tower , break up it on the sideboard and nearby Geniuses and client . She was order to allow . But she somehow bewilder a trounce untested Genius to carry her idle cat shrine to the motorcar for her . Image viaTambako / Flickr
Slippery When Wet
Water damage is the direct cause of accidental gadget destruction . Corollary : gadget killed by liquid are a run cause of client freakouts , because warranties do n’t typically cover drowning deaths . A womanhood brought Paul her MacBook Pro , which was refusing to power on . As Paul examined it , liquid bulge leak out of the computer , inspire the stock Genius speech that any repairs would n’t be covered by a warranty , so they ’d be money .
The woman flip out , and began screaming that Paul was adjudicate to steal from her , because other companies made waterproofed laptop . She continued : “ It ’s your responsibility for the damage because you should have known that somebody ’s frump would eventually wee-wee in the computing machine and should have done something to protect it , like make it waterproof . ”
By then , a pool had formed on the counter . Paul excuse himself to wash his hands , and place a yellow fold - out sign warning “ slippery when wet ” over the pool , before handing her over to his director . paradigm viag - hat / Flickr
Can’t Touch This
Busted iPhone screen are like HPV , it happens to almost everyone . So , it ’s not a vast peck at the Genius Bar , even though it ’s not tinny to desex . It pass to a lady who brought her phone to John . He tell her it ’d be “ one ninety nine ” to repair , so she throw three bucks on the counter , anticipate all to be well . Rectifying his poor diction , he inform her he mean $ 199 . discriminative stimulus a hilarious spew of invective , calling John an retard and a sloven . Three Geniuses endeavour to simmer down her down , which only feeds the beast , make it rise louder and more mean .
It so happens a regional manager was visiting John ’s store that day . He resolves to , uh , fix the situation . Before he can stop a condemnation , the banshie peeress shrieks , “ Do n’t talk to me , YOU GAY ! ” She then turns on the other customers at the Genius Bar . Placing his hand on her arm , the regional managing director asks her to leave . She responds , “ Do n’t equal me , YOU GAY ! YOU GAY ! ” then flee the store .
Only to retrovert 10 minutes to retrieve her draw a blank umbrella . Image viamager / Flickr
Punched!
A man was having problems connecting his iPhone to his Linksys router . After it became evident it was a router form job , George change by reversal to Cisco tech support to help the valet out , so he could print the program line the military personnel demand to fix it . The man decided George was study too long , and scream him a “ blinking moron . ”
George replied that if the valet de chambre kept verbally mistreat him , he would n’t be able to continuing facilitate . “ Fuck you nance , ” was followed by a right jab to George ’s face , catch on security camera , and really shown here . The mankind run around to the other side of the Genius Bar , shape to turn the assault into a full - fledge scrap , before several champion could restrain him . He ran out as the copper were call . Apple ’s presently exhort charges .
George has a new line now .
You’re a Genius!
Genius Bar appointments are a sad fact of life if you need to get anything made by Apple set up . But you know , some people do n’t have prison term for that dogshit . They ’re too significant . When a guy , we ’ll call him Chuck , found out the wait at Robert ’s Genius Bar would be at least 30 min , he tilt his laptop onto the parry , and told Robert to call him when it was fixed . Without mentioning what was wrong with it , or leave any liaison information .
A few hebdomad later , Chuck takings , expect about his laptop . Robert remembered who it was , and narrate Chuck he want to get it checked in and sign the paperwork before any study could proceed . Chuck did n’t time for all that , and left again . Without a signature , it could n’t be fixed .
Another few week go by , and Chuck returns . Robert ’s been waiting , and has a form ready to go that just needs a quick signature tune . He explain that they have n’t been able to work on the laptop without his signature , but it would only take a dyad of days once he signalise it over .
Chuck explodes , “ IT ’S NOT DONE YET ? BUT YOU’RE A GENIUS ! YOU’RE A GENIUS ! YOU’RE A GENIUS ! YOU’RE A GENIUS ! ” Chuck start doing the Tom Cruise hop as he repeats his cry , over and over .
A different employee go out to take care of Chuck , who manages to calm down and sign the form , but not without ask the new guy , “ What ’s it like to process with fags all day ? ”
Chuck never return for his computer .
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