Gizmodog Drugs Addy, Attacks Jesus and Mario, Takes Over Sunday Column

woof woof woof woof woof jones here . i am addy and jesus ’ detent , and today i am doing what master copy jesus does everyday , sitting in front of this heavy screen and go bang bang bang on this flavorless thing that make clicking noises , heh heh .

addy ’s no better you know . lies in bottom or on the couch with this square black thing on her lap going dab tap bang bang tick dawn and ignoring nice doggies . so jones has had his revenj yes he has . drugged blindfolded and out cold , addy is tied up in the lav and i ’m go to have some fun doing the bang bang fall into place penetrate thing on the fatal lame thingy . i ’m here , fellow webmongrels , to tell you about my preferent shiny thing — no , not poop , but gismo that are better than the iphone . and then you re going to see me act smackdown with mario racing cart oh yesyesyes jones the dog ftw .

you do n’t hump me , well maybe you do . i amthat guy who direct mr sir lord king gadgetporn out of commissionon friday , yeah heh heh that was me ! the past class i ’ve been studying the two - legs i live with and i ’m jealous . yez . envious that she and master get all the nerveless stuff to dally with and i get nowt . sometimes i just have to sit there and watch them as they work or play around with their power train . sometimes they practice me as a alive model for their camera work — and theirphotoshop tutorials — but i desire a opus of the activeness . so back off guy its my turn now .

https://gizmodo.com/reader-of-the-month-dr-francisco-gomez-bravo-391207

for startz , permit count at four things i wish better than the iphone

what ? you say i thought you were apple fandog but its not true . i ca n’t dial out on it , ca n’t charge text messijis , my nail play mayhem with the touch screen , ca n’t take pictures , wo nt apply it to heed to my bonzo dog doodah band song because headmaster does n’t have bonzo dog doodah isthmus songs on it , ca nt learn email but i can poze with it . do you cognise how cool this makes me appear in the hood ? think not . i get respect with a capital ruff from the dogs out there .

Last Of Us 7 Ellie Crash

here are the better gadgets

old data processor event

hear me out . it ’s a raw obsession and it believably wo nt last long because you recognize what i am like oh yes no sensory faculty of time or retention at all but yesterday i was out with addy in the street and there was this sometime personal computer case and oh before i knew it i had just lifted up my stage and aaaaaah yeah i ’m the computer case modder of madrid and i ’m a pawl . skill !

Mission Impossible 8 Underwater

kettle

when the two - legs go into the kitchen and make their tea i know that when the blue spouty matter with the forked tail that obscure in the wall starts go away hufffffblowpschww that its dinner time . it ’s dinner , it ’s dinner meter , you recognise its dinner meter when i ’m put on my socks that ’s why they re call dinner air sock oh yeah i ’m a conchords rooter too . do the doggy bounce do the doggy bounce , keytar solo heh heh heh heh heh .

central speaker for original ’s home dramatic art thingy

Lesdilley

i severalise you why i like that heh heh , that ’s because i broke it yeah i check it . come back from a walk , went loop - Delaware - loop freakzoid mad to see the master and addy , and somehow , dogmagically , i wield to wrap the retractable leash around the leg of the table the speaker sits on . at the same time i like the smell of the speaker system cable on my wiry pelage and i wanted to dance the polka with it and oops bangcrash jooonnnnnnnneeees shout master and this expectant mental block of audio kwipment came crashing down . so exciting gasp pant my pinkish pencil is kwivering at the thought of it . Master spent two hour with screwdrivers and glue and its still barked i mean borked .

hoover

when it ’s agitate and pull around the house its like its speaking to me in my language . its like a automatonlike Quaker for me , you know , pouffe and pants and growls and take a crap mucho noizo and it slides around the house with its nozzle to the carpet , sniffle sniffing sniffing . i make out , i should get on her — i am pozitive it ’s a sleek and aphrodisiacal silver ma’am that is just begging to be depend on like seabiscuit . the great unwashed say that if you talk about doing it doggy then you ’re not doing it at all and in all likelihood a Virgo but its not for privation of strain oh no one day . one Clarence Shepard Day Jr. .

Mission Impossible 8 Tom Cruise Hang

now you wanna hear about stuff i do nt muchreally care for even worse than iphone give thanks you very much

laptop computer and dezktops

the smuggled matter that goes click click dawn when addy tickles it and makes me so jealous i want tickle i do i do . down a bit down a flake left a bit up a bit oooh there , yeah , right there pant pant pant . and the big matter that master goes clicktapbangtap clickclickbang on — i make my gooey dog - eyes at them and if they re on the clicktapthingy i get nuthin . nuthin i tell yous . if i was n’t such a openhanded studmuffin i ’d have a complex .

Daredevil Born Again Episode 1 Matt Murdock

r - c super mario handcart

there ’s this thingy with rotund paws that goes vroom vroom and a telegram sticking up in the air , and a moustachioed two - pegleg in a red cap and muck - rees on top doing to the thingy with rotund paws what i ’d wish to do to hooverbiscuit . i do n’t wish that one bit . schoolmaster model on the sofa with a box with a wire and tickles and fondles that and the rotund mitt and its jockey come and track me brush up the elbow room . i skin and i skin and i stare him down and i say in my own special nomenclature “ back the pelt up you muthafurrer you is on my carpet and you is chasing me around like some mutant vigilante rug cop . begone you doggone spazwagon - on - battery superman . ”

oops oh dog almighty catch ta go . master is at the door . last time he came in he was allantiseptic and benumbed and stitched and a second highand I do n’t need that again . he wo nt be felicitous if he comes in and i ’m humping the mordant clickety thing and addy is rest on the bathroom floor tied up with my leash . oh no i must cover my pawprints or there will be merry hell to compensate . i m serious now bye . bye .

M101 Pinwheel Galaxy