Dylan Mulvaney.Photo:David Brandon Geeting

Dylan Mulvaney, Headshot

David Brandon Geeting

Everything happens for a reason,Dylan Mulvaneybelieves. But “I’m still waiting to figure out what the reason was for that one,” she tells PEOPLE in this week’s issue, referring to the inescapable hate she faced online in 2023.

At the time, the San Diego–born theater actress — who gained millions of followers via her “100 Days of Girlhood” videos documenting her transition on TikTok — struck a deal tomake a sponsored videofor Bud Light. The partnership provoked the ire of conservatives, who called for a boycott amid a transphobic backlash.

Mulvaney felt abandoned and alone in the aftermath, facing threats, stalkers and suicidal thoughts.

Two years later, “I am about a thousand times stronger than I was before that situation happened,” Mulvaney says. “I’m finally in a place that I have healed, and I’m in such a good mental headspace. I feel like I’m really ready for the world to know what that experience was like behind the scenes."

The book, she adds, illustrates that “no matter who you are, what your identity is, if you are in a tough situation, there is a light at the end of the tunnel eventually.”

Dylan Mulvaney, Paper Doll Notes from a Late Bloomer

Mulvaney admits she’s not everyone’s cup of tea (“I’m a big personality. I’m a little musical-theater cringey, and that’s not for everyone!”), but she’s still sipping on a beer, which she says she’ll “always love.”

“I really hope we will get to see beer brands in the future be inclusive and find unique and interesting ways to include others in the conversation and in marketing that maybe is tasteful and helpful in moving culture in the right direction,” she says.

Anheuser-Bush, the company behind Bud Light did not respond to PEOPLE’s request for comment. In an April 2023 statement, the company said, in part, “We never intended to be part of a discussion that divides people. We are in the business of bringing people together over a beer.”

Dylan Mulvaney on June 11, 2023.Dominik Bindl/Getty

Dylan Mulvaney attends The 76th Annual Tony Awards at United Palace Theater

Dominik Bindl/Getty

Never miss a story — sign up forPEOPLE’s free daily newsletterto stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer​​, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories.

Mulvaney tells PEOPLE the Bud Light controversy has “really shifted things in a very sad way” for members of the LGBTQ community. “I would’ve never taken that job had I known any of those repercussions would’ve happened.”

Paper Dollisn’t all about “Beergate,” though. Elsewhere, she dishes on hookups, celebrity run-ins (Kathy Hilton once called her a “hoot”), an eye-opening ayahuasca trip and so much more. “It’s a messy book,” she says, “and I think it’s reflective of me as a human.”

With a podcast and a role in a new musical in London in the works, she’s feeling upbeat about her future. Her book, Mulvaney says, “is a way to spread trans joy.”

Dylan Mulvaney in her 2024 one-woman show ‘F*GHAG’.Marc Brenner/Instagram/@marcsbrenner

Dylan Mulvaney in her show Faghag posted 7/26/2024

Marc Brenner/Instagram/@marcsbrenner

The PEOPLE Puzzler crossword is here! How quickly can you solve it? Play now!

At the end of the day, her only dream is to become a “Broadway diva” some day. “There’s nothing that makes me happier right now than performing onstage and doing theater,” says Mulvaney, who last year performed her own one-woman show at the Edinburgh Festival Fringe.

During those shows she was “finally feeling that pure joy again and feeling a happiness in a way that I didn’t know if I’d ever experienced again because it was gone for so long.”

“But I found it and I’m living in it,” says Mulvaney. “It feels so good.”

Paper Doll: Notes from a Late Bloomerwill be available to purchase wherever books are sold on March 11.

source: people.com