Some magical fatness bozo in a red suit thinks he ’s coming into your family as he please in the middle of the night ? ! Not on your spotter . Here ’s what you ’ll need to start your own personal War on Christmas .
You ’d be surprised at how difficult it is to pick out a team of flying reindeer with the naked heart . so if you desire to get a parachuting on the old Chimney Creeper , you ’ll take to see him add up . Google ’s Santa Trackernot only provide a live countdown until The Red One ’s going , but will also provide a live view of his dashboard during the flight . Do n’t lease the endearingly quirky flash animations fool you , it ’s more likeSanta ’s Greenwich Village of the damned .
For up to the moment updates of his emplacement while in - flight , head over to theNORAD Santa Tracking situation . If they can pick out Russian ICBMs over the arctic circle , they can certain as heck come up Santa ’s generous girth over the same frozen wastes .
Unfortunately , most people ca n’t give personal radar arrays like the military - gradeC550 ground microwave radar systemfromSpotterRF . It continually scans its surroundings for actuate objects then tracks anything it spots with a series of HD cameras . Instead , you ’ll have to rely on slightly less full-bodied systems to acknowledge when Santa ’s about to occupy your personal space .
Remote security photographic camera are a great first origin of defence against Santa as they are compendious enough to be mounted anywhere on the cap — really , you should install an array to ensure full television insurance coverage of every eave — and even mid - range models now extend HD provender , wireless control from a fluid equipment , and both seeable and IR tomography options .
The same goes for the interior of your home . Tuck a fewDrop Camsdiscreetly around the hearth or , if you want to let him know that you ’re watching , set up aD - LINK wireless surveillance camdirectly opposite the lamp chimney like an electronic Eye of Sauron . You may also want to take the extra beat — I know I would — of go down a couple oflaser head trip wire trap — one at the top of the lamp chimney , the other at the bottom .
know that a human being has somehow squeezed his means into your theatre like Richard frickin ’ Ramirez and is now pawing around your living room is not the same as doing something about it . The area around your tree needs to be a labyrinth of pitfalls and man - trap if you ’ve got any hope of capturing this guy . I do n’t really eff what your rumpus room looks like — I have in mind , if you need to send a floorplan over , mayhap we can work on some ideas or something?—but you should already have an melodic theme of how to well defend your own castling .
You could always power through theHome Aloneseries if you ’re desperate for approximation and need the help of a fancied ten - year - old in your fight against a fictional old gentleman . So long as you are n’t loosing a Temple of Doom boulder when Santa off his cookie from the pressure dental plate , there are no bad estimate .
If Home Alone taught me nothing else , it is that a in effect defense of one ’s habitation is not perfect if you do n’t also humiliate your opponent at least just a little flake . So once you have that creepy former hippie captured , caged , or trussed up like a Christmas goose , be certain to whip out yourselfie stick(stop acting like you do n’t own one ) and snap the only Christmas carte du jour moving-picture show you ’ll ever use again .
Home securitySanta
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